


Merry in Measure

by MistressEast



Series: O Holy Night [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Divorces, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Past Abuse, an excessive amount of real estate talk, background resyma, background stormpilot, but hux very much reacts like an abuse victim to things, etc - Freeform, im late lol, kylo ren should use his brain, lighting a fire, no TLJ spoilers, poorly-planned proposal methods, real estate, rose and paige are there and i love them, there's no abuse in the fic, this fic is basically a list of things i know nothing about, this is cheesy yall buckle up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 00:10:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13154997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressEast/pseuds/MistressEast
Summary: A year after Kylo and Hux rekindled their romance at Rey and Phasma's Christmas party, their relationship is stronger than ever. Despite a few bumps along the way, they're happy and living together and, honestly, Hux has never been more hopeful. This year, they decide to show off their new house by hosting their own Christmas party and Hux is eager for the opportunity to celebrate the year he's shared with his boyfriend, but, of course, things are never that simple. With Kylo distracted and his friends slowly disappearing from the party, Hux is left on his own when an unpleasant memory comes calling. What starts as a normal evening quickly dissolves as Hux struggles with his boyfriend's odd behavior and his own anxiety. Things are looking less hopeful by the second.This is a direct sequel to Mistletoe and I recommend reading that one first.





	Merry in Measure

**Author's Note:**

> This is a day late because I'm a lazy asshat but what else is new. I wanted to do a continuation of the Christmas fic I wrote on a whim last year. And so I did. Here it is. Kind of an odd way to return to ao3 but yeah. For anyone still interested, I have NOT abandoned First Order Investigations and in fact have a lot planned for it, I'm simply, as previously stated, a lazy asshat. Please don't call me out on my obvious knowledge gaps concerning such subjects as buying a house, starting a fire, baking bread, planning a party, and many others. I will retain no information and will continue to make things up. 
> 
> If I missed any tags, however, do please let me know.
> 
> Attentive readers will notice a theme connecting this fic and Mistletoe and I'll disclose to you right now that I like to make Hux cry. So I hope you like that too and are excited. Let's get moving!

Hux's eyes widen in realization. Why is _he_ risking life and limb standing on a step-ladder to attach a gold and porcelain angel to the top of a Christmas tree when he could be making his unnaturally tall and hitherto-unhelpful boyfriend do it instead?

"Kylo!" He calls, dismounting the ladder carefully. "Kylo, come here!"

Upstairs, the muffled music of whatever Kylo is doing pauses and soon Hux can hear heavy footsteps on the stairs.

"What's up?" Kylo asks as he comes into view, descending the last few steps. He's wearing that hideous red-and-green checkered sweater Hux had already told him not to wear under any circumstances and running a hand through his still-damp hair.

Hux scowls. "I certainly hope you're planning to change in the next--" he checks his watch, "--thirty minutes."

Kylo glances down at himself and quirks an eyebrow. "Why? You're wearing a sweater too."

Hux physically recoils at the suggestion that his $400 hunter green Armani sweater can be in any way compared to a neon optical illusion that Kylo fished out of a thrift shop bargain bin.

Kylo sees Hux's horrified expression and laughs, grabbing him around the waist. "Don't get your panties in a bunch," he says, nuzzling his prominent nose against Hux's cheek. "I'm gonna put on that red thing you picked out in a minute."

"It's burgundy," Hux grumbles but he submits to the snuggling with a small smile.

"So what did you need?" Kylo asks, drawing away.

Hux holds out the angel. "Put this on top of the tree."

Kylo takes the angel carefully, because he knows from Hux's twenty-minute explanation that it's a family heirloom with decades of history and, if it broke, Hux's grandmother would have a stroke and die. "No problem. Is that all?"

Hux looks around the living room appraisingly. The rest of the decorations are already up, garland and tinsel draped tastefully over the appropriate surfaces and lights twinkling festively where they're hung. No mistletoe; Poe had shown up with a bundle and a sly look a few days ago but Hux had put the little devil plants down the garbage disposal as soon as he left. He would not tolerate that tomfoolery at his party. Everything is in its place, and as soon as the last of the food finishes baking, the preparations for the party will be complete.

"That's the last thing," Hux responds. " _I_ already finished everything else."

"Hey, I hung those things!" Kylo gestures indignantly at the wreathes over the doorways. "And it's not like you would have let me near anything else."

"I suppose that's true." Hux pecks him on the cheek for his trouble right before the oven dings in the kitchen.

Hux moves to go around Kylo and attend to the complaining appliance but finds himself trapped by strong, sweater-covered arms wrapping around him and an insistent mouth on his. The force of the kiss actually dips him backwards slightly and he holds Kylo's shoulders to steady himself, yielding to Kylo with a quiet hum.

Kylo pulls back slightly. "I love you," he breathes against Hux's lips and Hux feels a thrill run through him at the words. Kylo isn't sparing with his affection, but every time Hux hears those words is like the very first time all over again.

"I love you too, but the bread is going to burn if I don't go get it," he says flippantly to hide how hard his heart is pounding.

Kylo lets him go, a bit reluctantly, and Hux trails a hand down his arm as he passes, warmth blooming in his chest.

He reflects on the surprisingly domestic turn his life has taken as he places the bread on a cooling rack. After he and Kylo reconciled last Christmas, they started dating again, this time publically, and things were great for a while. Kylo's parents were surprised that their flighty son had started a relationship with someone as seemingly boring as Hux but supportive nonetheless. Hux's father, however, had an absolute conniption and threatened to disown Hux and take out a restraining order if he didn't stop dating a man. If it was just that, Hux wouldn't have cared, but he was very close to his step-mother and her family, particularly his aging grandmother, and his father had made it clear that, as her primary medical proxy, he could keep Hux from visiting her. The conflict caused Hux's depression to flare and for a while he thought he and Kylo would have to break up; either he'd crack and leave Kylo no matter how much the idea killed him, or Kylo would get sick of it all and dump him. It was a very stressful period and Hux withdrew from Kylo as he got sicker, spurring several wall-shaking fights and many tears. 

In September, when Hux wasn't sure how much more he could take and had no hope of things getting better, when he'd basically resolved himself to being alone because he couldn't imagine Kylo would stick around after all of this shit, when he could barely summon the energy to get out of bed each day, his step-mother and Kylo showed up at his door with signed divorce papers.

Hux's father is a manipulative, abusive man who made Hux's childhood hell and tormented his wife, but even after Hux turned 18 and was able to walk away, Maratelle was still trapped. Instead of panicking and hiding like Hux, Kylo had decided to do something to fix the situation, enlisting his own high-profile lawyer mother to help Maratelle leave Brendol in the safest, most advantageous way possible. Maratelle was a minority shareholder for Brendol's company and she quietly bought up enough shares to rival Brendol's claim and took the rest in the divorce settlement, leaving her with control of the company, the house, and legal authority over her mother's medical decisions. She assured Hux that he was free to make his own decisions and Brendol would never be allowed to touch either of them again. And it was all because of Kylo.

Hux remembers nearly collapsing at the realization that everything was going to be okay and Kylo holding him up, sobbing because he's an enormous child. Even now, Hux is furious with himself for ever thinking that Kylo would just abandon him because things were difficult. Kylo has done nothing but love and support him since they got together, and Hux's knee-jerk reaction to every bump in the road is still despair and panic. In many ways, Hux knows he's far more childish than his boyfriend.

Hux sets a vegetable tray on the table, eyes stinging at the memory. It took him a while to get back to a healthy place, but Kylo rarely left his side, even on the worst days. At the end of October, while sitting on Hux's couch and sharing a bag of Kit-Kats with a horror movie playing on the TV, Hux looked over at Kylo trying to open a fun-size Kit-Kat with his teeth and asked him to move in with him. It was the most impulsive, out-of-character choice he's ever made and he hasn't regretted a day since.

Obviously, if they were going to be living together, they would need a bigger place, Hux insisted. Kylo wasn't sure what they needed beyond a bathroom and space for a bed but Hux was determined. They both had steady jobs and no reason to move any time in the next ten years, so they decided to find a house. After much searching and frustration (mostly due to Hux's inflexible demands), their friend Jess, a real estate agent, dropped a miracle into Hux's Gmail inbox. 

A tiny Queen Anne had just been foreclosed uptown, and Hux and Kylo went to see it immediately. It was a bit rough around the edges, but all the appliances were new and the plumbing had recently been replaced so it was perfectly comfortable. Kylo took one look at the tiered roofs and shabby molding and fell in love. Hux took one look at the gorgeous hardwood floors and excellent neighborhood and also fell in love. Then he took another look and started marking walls that needed to be removed. They signed the papers toward the end of November and moved in soon after.

They have plans for this house. Hux wants to knock out most of the walls downstairs and remodel the bathrooms. The yard needs a fence and the curb appeal is severely lacking, but it's a lovely little building and Hux is eager to show it off at the party tonight.

This isn't where he thought he'd be last year. This definitely isn't where he thought he'd be back in September. It's something he never permitted himself to hope for, but here he is, and sometimes his happiness and excitement and terror and confusion balloon in his chest until he's so full of feelings and energy he can barely keep his feet on the ground. Kylo completely rewrote the course of his life, everything he thought he knew about himself and every plan he ever had. His life has never been more stable, but his future has never looked so uncertain.

Just as he's putting the finishing touches on the food, the doorbell chimes and Hux looks at his watch in alarm. People shouldn't start arriving for at least another fifteen minutes.

"I'll get it!" Kylo calls as Hux hurries into the living room. Kylo disappears into the foyer and a second later Hux hears the door open and someone exclaim, "Hey, buddy! Look what I've g--" before Kylo makes a loud shushing sound.

"Is that Poe?" Hux asks, heading toward the foyer, only to be met by Kylo going the opposite direction, followed by, indeed, a very snowy Poe Dameron.

"Hey, Gingersnap!" Poe smiles broadly, shifting the large bag in his arms to hang on his shoulder. "What's crackin'?"

"You're rarely early, Poe, what's the occasion?"

"I wanted to show him something," Kylo says, starting to edge around Hux and pulling Poe with him.

"Oh." Kylo and Poe have been playing the same game for Kylo's new console and Poe has been over frequently to compare notes over the past few weeks, so Hux supposes that makes sense. "What's in the bag? Are you staying over?"

Poe's grin somehow widens. "It's a present," he answers before Kylo drags him up the stairs and out of sight.

Hux stares after them. That was fairly odd, he thinks. He turns to return to the kitchen and catches sight of the porcelain angel now sitting on top of the Christmas tree. It's a little crooked.

\---

By the time Phasma and Rey arrive, the party is in full swing.

"Hux!" Rey beams as soon as he opens the door. "This house is adorable! I can't believe you didn't have us over earlier."

"It was a bit of a mess until last week," Hux admits, submitting to an enthusiastic hug from Rey and a firm handshake from Phasma. 

Phasma hands him a long box wrapped in festive paper with a large bow on one end. "It's wine," she says bluntly.

"I shouldn't have even bothered wrapping it," Rey mutters.

Hux chuckles. "I appreciate the transparency. I'll put this in my private stash."

Phasma smirks, taking her wife's coat from her before Rey runs off to jump on Finn. "Where's Kylo?"

"Let me take those," Hux says, holding out his arms for Phasma to hand over their coats and glancing back into the living room. "And I'm not actually sure. Poe came over early and I don't think they've come downstairs yet."

"What a rude host."

Hux shakes his head. "I just hope he's changed into the clothes I picked out for him. I'll go put these upstairs."

He leaves the foyer and makes his way across the living room, fielding greetings and comments as he does. When he reaches the second floor, he heads for the room he'd designated as a coat closet, but pauses at the sound Kylo's distinctive low rumble.

It's coming from Kylo's office, and, in all honesty, Hux is perplexed that Kylo hasn't come downstairs. He can't imagine what could be important enough to keep Kylo from a party he'd suggested and Poe from Hux's booze selection. 

Hux drops off the coats and the wine and knocks on the office door. "Kylo? Are you going to come greet our guests?"

Rapid rustling and footsteps erupt behind the door and Kylo's voice drops off with a harsh cough. "Just a minute!" Kylo calls, sounding a bit harried.

Hux waits in confusion until the door cracks open, revealing a slightly ruffled Kylo. Behind him, Hux sees Poe quickly duck out of sight, bag once again in his arms. "Is...everything okay?" Hux asks, raising an eyebrow at Kylo.

Kylo nods, smiling. "Yeah, yeah. Just lost track of time."

"Clearly." Hux notices Kylo's attire. "You haven't changed yet!"

Kylo looks down at himself with an air of vague surprise. "Oh yeah."

_Oh yeah_. Hux rolls his eyes, grabbing Kylo's wrist and pulling. "Poe," he says loudly, "you better get downstairs before Phasma drinks all the Brandywine."

He hears Poe squawk as the door closes.

\---

After corralling Kylo into some appropriate clothes, Hux leads him back downstairs, where they're greeted jovially. Through the crowd, Hux can see Poe and Phasma toasting glasses of dark liquid, Rey gesticulating wildly to a fascinated-looking Finn, and Rose hijacking the aux cord while her sister watches, eating a cupcake. Mitaka and several of Hux's work friends are in the kitchen, chatting and drinking.

Jess locates them immediately and drags them off to get the details on the house.

"I'm so glad you got this place," she says, bouncing her one-year-old on her hip. "I hated the idea of it getting flipped."

"We're very happy with it." Hux looks around at the antique fixtures and wide-board floors. "It needs work, but Kylo wanted a fixer anyway."

Kylo hums in agreement, but he's not looking at them, instead casting frequent glances toward the stairs. Hux feels concern flit through him. Since Poe came over, Kylo had been distracted and strange. Even when he was changing, he didn't make a single suggestive comment or rude hand-gesture. Not that Hux _wanted_ to get into it a floor away from his own Christmas party, but dating Kylo, you come to expect certain things.

"The exterior is still lovely, though," Jess continues, oblivious to her audience's inattention. "The porch is just adorable. Are the windows new?"

Hux starts at the question. "Oh--no," he hurries to answer. "They were installed in the eighties. They need to be replaced, though, the insulation here is terrible."

As Jess goes on about attic space and paint and the best window-guys in the city, Hux can't keep from watching his boyfriend, who couldn't be less involved in the conversation. What could be distracting him so much? Hux figures it must have something to do with Poe.

\---

Fifteen minutes later finds Hux and Kylo sitting on the couch listening to Finn talk about his time in the military.

"Really?" Hux says, setting his wine glass aside. "And there was only one parachute? What did you do?"

Finn smiles conspiratorially, scooting to the edge of the coffee table to be as close as possible and holding up his hands dramatically. "You see, at that very moment, I--"

He's cut off by the sudden arrival of Poe. "Hey guys, hey babe," he greets briskly, bracing one leg on the couch next to Kylo so he can lean over and whisper in his ear.

Kylo stiffens and his grip on his glass tightens so much his knuckles go white.

"Is something wrong?" Hux asks, alarmed.

"No," Kylo says flatly, standing swiftly, leaving the left side of Hux's body cold. "It's nothing. I'll be right back."

Finn and Hux watch their boyfriend's hastily retreating backs with equal confusion.

"What was that all about?" Finn wonders.

Hux just shakes his head, reclaiming his glass and taking a hearty swig. "Kylo's been acting strange since Poe came over. Did Poe say anything about why he was coming early?"

Finn purses his lips. "No. I didn't even know he was coming over early. He was busy most of the day."

Hux considers this with a hum, swirling his wine absently. Before he can dwell too deeply, however, Rey wanders over and Finn demands that she sit down and hear this amazing story from his military days. Hux has trouble focusing on the thrilling climax, too distracted by a vague sense of unease. And not the normal vague sense of unease he just sort of lives with, a more specific, troubling vague sense of unease.

\---

Kylo doesn't come back downstairs for ten minutes, and when he does, he ignores Hux entirely and heads right out the front door.

Hux watches in disbelief as Kylo's dark head vanishes outside before heading into the kitchen to pour himself another glass of wine.

When he returns, he joins Rey, Rose, and Finn by the fireplace to watch Paige struggle with the starter log.

"You're doing great, sis," Rose says encouragingly while Rey muffles her giggles behind her hand.

"She's doing better than I could," Finn shrugs, hands in his pockets.

"Would you like some help, Paige?" Hux offers.

"No," she huffs defiantly, grabbing another strip of kindling. "I've got this."

Hux shakes his head bemusedly but lets her continue. 

Just then, Poe appears again, looking even more odd than last time, wide-eyed and slightly pale. He grabs Finn's arm and leans in without preamble.

"Poe, we were just--" Finn breaks off as whatever Poe whispers to him shocks him into stillness.

Hux's vague sense of unease expands so rapidly he feels momentarily dizzy.

Poe pulls back and Finn nods jerkily. "I gotta go...do a thing," he mutters to the group before following Poe into the throng of people.

Rey and Rose don't seem to notice anything weird, but Hux stares after them, baffled.

"Success!" Paige crows and the other two flock to congratulate her on the small flame now burning in the fireplace.

Hux walks a few feet away and sternly tells himself not to get crazy about this. He has a tendency to read too much into things and overreact, which only exacerbates any problem that might exist. Whatever is happening between Kylo and Poe and now Finn can't possibly be that bad. Kylo respects him too much to keep in the dark about anything major. Unless it involves...Hux himself.

The thought chills him so much he has to sit down, sinking into an armchair and holding tight to the stem of his wineglass. When Kylo was coordinating with Maratelle back in September, he didn't tell Hux because he didn't want to stress him out further. If their plan didn't work, Kylo feared it might damage something between them that couldn't be fixed. While Hux was irritated that he'd been the only one doing nothing the whole time, he understood Kylo's reasoning. So if this situation involves Hux in some way, Kylo's secrecy makes sense.

Hux struggles to prevent his imagination from running wild with this new theory. Kylo doesn't hate him and Kylo isn't going to break up with him. If he was, he wouldn't do it at a party at their own house that he helped plan. Unless this is all part of some elaborate joke designed to embarrass him--

No. _No_. Hux takes a gulp of wine. Kylo would never do that. Whatever is going on may or may not have to do with Hux, but he is not going to let himself spiral into depression and panic on Christmas Eve.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, startling him out of his thoughts. He takes it out and looks to see an unsaved number glowing on the screen. It has a local area code though, so Hux accepts the call, leaving his glass behind and heading for the first floor powder room. 

"This is Armitage Hux," he says cordially.

"Armitage."

Hux's breath freezes in his chest. He fumbles for the door to the bathroom and shuts himself in, leaning against the counter with shaking legs. "How did you get this number?" he demands lowly.

"I always know how to find you," Brendol Hux says smoothly. "You're my son."

Hux grits his teeth, heart pounding in his ears. After the divorce, he and his mother had their numbers changed, and, last he'd heard, Brendol had left the city. "What do you want?"

"I want you and Maratelle to stop this ridiculous farce," his father growls, and the tone of his voice drags up a million painful, humiliating memories. "I've allowed this to go on for too long. It's time to fix this mess you've made."

Hux opens his mouth to argue, to demand to know how this is _his_ fault, when all he's done is try to live his own life and make his own choices, but then he stops. The few times Brendol tried to contact him before he changed numbers, Kylo had told him not to engage. Brendol wants to start a fight because he can use the interaction to establish old power dynamics and undo any progress Hux has made moving past his abuse. "Don't contact me again," he says coldly.

"You can't ignore me forever, Armitage!" Brendol yells. "Listen to me--sooner or later, you'll wake up from this insane delusion and realize you need me."

"You're a terrible father, a terrible husband, and a disgusting man," Hux hisses before he can stop himself, all of the rage and helplessness he'd been pushing down for years rising to the top and spilling out of his mouth. "What I _need_ from you is my childhood back, but that's impossible, so you have no right to harass me just because you're finally facing some goddamn consequences." Hux clenches his fist, finds his hands are shaking, and continues before his father can get out a single enraged word, "I will never speak to you again, and if I hear that you've tried to bully Maratelle as well, you _will_ regret it." Then Hux disconnects the call before he loses his nerve.

He stands there, in the dim bathroom, heart racing and breaths coming in gasps, his phone clutched in his trembling hands, different emotions warring in his head. On one hand, the surge of defiance and confidence he'd felt at finally giving his father a piece of his mind is intoxicating, but it's dampened by the cold fear already taking root in his stomach. Old habits die hard, and no matter how independent he is, Hux can't shake the instinctual terror of what his father might do to him or his mother.

His mother. He should call her. But the thought of relating what just happened makes him break out in a cold sweat. He settles for sending her a text asking if Brendol had tried to contact her recently. She's at a company party tonight and might not see it until later, but that's okay. Hux needs some time to process.

_Listen to me--sooner or later, you'll wake up from this insane delusion--_

Hux shakes his head and presses his hands over his eyes. His life right now isn't a delusion. It's the culmination of choices he made based on what makes him happy and Brendol Hux doesn't know a single fucking thing about him anymore.

He lowers his hands and stares at them, eyes stinging and emotions bubbling inside him, threatening to overflow. Then he pulls the door open and heads back to the party. He doesn't want to be alone right now. He wants Kylo.

\---

No one has seen Kylo.

Well, that's not true. Rose saw him come in and whisper something to Phasma before they both ran off upstairs together. And apparently he looked worried.

"What on earth is going on?" Hux wonders out loud, the familiar panic stirring in his chest.

Rose shrugs. "I dunno. Also, Mitaka and Thannison are making out in the pantry."

"They do that every year," Hux says dismissively. "I need more wine."

"Ooh, get me some," Rose giggles, waggling her empty glass. From over her shoulder, Hux sees Paige look up and shake her head.

"I'll bring you some eggnog," he suggests with a placating smile. _The non-alcoholic kind_ , he appends silently before heading to the kitchen.

On the way, he's waylaid by a group of Kylo's friends, all of whom are dressed in suspiciously identical black hoodies. One of them is inexplicably holding Jess's daughter despite the fact that Hux hasn't see Jess since he rejoined the party. They thank him for the excellent party and ask where Kylo is.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he answers diplomatically.

"He's not being a very good host," the tallest one observes.

"Or a very good boyfriend," the one holding the baby adds. "He just left you to deal with everything."

"It's not that bad," Hux laughs, trying not to sound strained. "You're all very well-behaved."

"For now," the one with the longest beard says, eyes twinkling.

Hux quickly excuses himself from the conversation.

When he returns to Rose with her drink, she and Paige are chatting blithely with Rey.

"Hux!" She links her arm through his and leans her cheek on his shoulder. She's clearly tipsy, all smiles and clinginess. "Where's my wife?" she whines. "She just left me, can you believe that?"

"How rude of her." Vanishing significant others seems to be the theme of the evening.

"I'm sure she'll be back, Rey," Rose says, looking a little teary-eyed. "She loves you a lot."

Paige pats her sister on the back as Rose struggles not to cry. "Rose is right, actually, look." She points behind Hux and he turns to see Phasma edging through the crowd, hard to miss due to the fact that she's at least a head taller than everyone else in attendance.

"Hey guys," she says tightly when she reaches them.

"Babe!" Rey flings herself at Phasma, who catches her easily and bends down to say something in her ear. Rey sobers almost instantly and Hux has to fight the urge to lean in and eavesdrop.

"Right," Rey nods seriously and Phasma straightens up. "I'll see you guys in a minute," she tosses over her shoulder as she follows Phasma through the crowd.

Hux doesn't even bother watching them disappear up the stairs, turning away to glare into his wineglass instead.

"I wonder if something's wrong." Paige bites her lip worriedly.

"I'm sure everything's fine," Hux says, perhaps a bit more harshly than he meant to.

"Maybe it's a Christmas surprise!" Rose suggests excitedly.

Somehow Hux doubts it.

A commotion starts up in the kitchen, muffled banging and yelling, followed by a ripple of laughter, drawing their attention. "Mitaka and Thannison are locked in the pantry!" someone shouts and Hux sighs.

He hands his drink to Paige. "Hold this, I'll be right back." 

As he's forcing the old, crooked door out from where it's stuck in the jamb, his phone vibrates with a call. He forces himself to check the number, but it's what he thought it would be, so he lets it ring and focuses on pulling his very panicked coworkers out of his pantry.

\---

His phone rings again when he returns to the living room to find that Paige had gotten a text and gone upstairs, leaving his glass with Unamo, at least according to Unamo, who gives him his drink before draining her own and wandering off.

Hux looks over and sees Rose dozing on the sofa. A quick glance around the room tells him that none of his other close friends are present. 

His phone buzzes again, sending waves of fear and shame washing over him with each vibration. The wine in his glass shivers as his hands resume their shaking. The room is suddenly too small, too warm, flashes of heat zinging up his spine, too loud, the cheerful holiday music pounding on his skull. Outside, snow is still falling, swirling past the windows, illuminated by the house lights against the dark sky. He's surrounded by people, but he's trapped. And alone. 

His phone buzzes.

He abandons his glass on the coffee table-- perhaps he's had too much to drink-- and kneels in front of Rose to rouse her.

"Come on," he murmurs, "let's get you somewhere more comfortable."

"Your couch is _very_ comfortable," she titters sleepily.

"If you think that's nice, you'll love our guest bed." Hux guides a very drowsy Rose through the party and down the hall to their downstairs guest room. They converted the upstairs spare room into Kylo's office, since he primarily works from home, but Hux had still made an effort to have a nice place for people to sleep when they stay over.

Just as Hux reaches out to grab the handle, the door swings open and he finds himself face-to-face with Poe.

"Poe!" Hux shouts.

"Hux!" Poe looks around frantically, probably for an escape route.

"Poe!" Rose exclaims, spilling into his arms.

"Whoa, Rose Petal, you are _smashed_ ," Poe marvels, hoisting Rose back to her feet.

"I was going to let her sleep it off in the guest room," Hux explains guardedly.

"Yeah, good idea," Poe nods, maneuvering Rose into the room.

Hux follows behind and watches as Poe helps Rose onto the bed and pulls her shoes off. After she settles into the mattress, Hux grabs a blanket from where it's draped over a tasteful wicker chair and spreads it over her.

"She's always been a sleepy drunk," Poe laughs awkwardly, backing away toward the door.

"Poe Dameron, what the fuck is going on in my house?" Hux asks calmly, tucking the blanket in around Rose, who's already out cold.

"What are you talking about, Snickerdoodle?" 

"Poe, I would appreciate it if you didn't patronize me." Hux turns to look at him, hands on his hips. "You can't pretend you haven't been acting strangely. I've barely seen you or Kylo this evening and people have been vanishing from my party. I think I deserve an explanation." 

Poe looks conflicted, his face cycling through several expressions as he clenches and unclenches his fists. "I...I can't tell you, Hux. I know this looks bizarre, but you just gotta trust that it's nothing bad--"

"I'm sorry, you _can't tell me_?" Hux repeats, deliberately keeping his voice low despite how much he wants to scream. "What could be important enough to make you run around all night and kidnap my friends from my party but still not important enough that I need to know about it?"

"Okay, yeah, I admit this looks pretty bad, but I swear to you--"

Hux's phone buzzes and he flinches so hard Poe breaks off.

"Whoa, Hux, are you--"

"Where is he?" Hux interrupts, stalking past Poe and into the hallway. "Is he upstairs?"

"Who--Kylo?" Poe jogs after him. "I think so, but--Hux, wait--"

But Hux doesn't wait. He charges through the crowd in the living room and up the stairs, ignoring Poe's pleading. He doesn't even knock before barging into the office and he's greeted by the sight of Kylo in deep discussion with Paige and Finn.

The three of them snap their mouths shut and jump apart, staring at Hux in surprise.

"What," Hux pants as Poe skids to a halt behind him, "is going on."

Nobody says anything. Finn looks from Hux to Kylo nervously and Paige bites her lip.

"You--" Hux points at Kylo, "--have left me alone all night, at a party _you_ wanted. And you've dragged everyone else away as well. I don't care if no one wants to hang out with me, I just want to know _why_."

"Hux--" Poe starts but a sharp look from Hux cuts him off.

"Kylo," Hux says, stepping into the room to face him directly. "You have to know this is stressing me out. Just tell me what's going on."

"I...." Kylo casts a panicked look around the room, at Finn and Paige, at Poe over Hux's shoulder, at Poe's large bag upturned and discarded on the floor. "I...Hux...I--I can't--"

"For fuck's sake, why not!" Hux bursts out. Finn and Paige step back slightly but Hux ignores them. "Is this all in my imagination? Am I insane for thinking I deserve an explanation?"

"No, Hux, that's not--" Kylo tries to cut in.

"Maybe you haven't been acting strange--maybe it's just me overreacting to nothing again!" Hux shouts.

"No, no, Hux, of course not, it's just--"

"Am I not trustworthy enough? Is it a secret?"

"Listen to me--"

_Listen to me--sooner or later you'll-_ -

Hux spins on his heel and strides out of the room, pushing past a stricken-looking Poe and heading down the hall.

"No, Hux--wait, please!" Kylo calls, stumbling after him, but Hux can't. 

His head is pounding, his hands won't stop shaking, and his phone is buzzing in his pocket. Kylo is keeping secrets and everyone but him knows. His father has his number so it's only a matter of time before he finds their address and then everything will be fucked. He's ruined his own life and soon Kylo's too and he just can't.

He slams into the door to the master and fumbles the knob until it swings open, sending him tripping inside. He somehow manages to lock the door despite his trembling fingers and leans his forehead against the faded wood, releasing a shuddering breath, blinking through the tears gathering in his eyes.

"Hux." Kylo's muffled voice sounds through the door and Hux's fingernails scrape the wood as he curls his hands into fists. "Baby, please. I'm so sorry. I know I've been acting like a dick and you don't deserve that. You'll understand soon, I swear, just, please--"

"Kylo! Kylo, holy shit!" A voice that sounds a lot like Rey's yells from the direction of the stairs. "I think I found the--" a chorus of shushes cuts her off and Kylo swears loudly.

"I--I--I've gotta go, baby," Kylo says apologetically, and Hux can picture the little furrow between his brows and the way his lower lip is sticking out. "Just--don't go anywhere, I'll be right back _I promise_."

Then Hux can hear heavy footsteps down the hall. And then nothing.

The silence ringing in his ears, Hux turns and slides down the door until he's sitting on the hardwood and buries his face in his knees, cheeks burning and eyes brimming with tears. Another year in a row, he's made an ass of himself on Christmas. Excellent.

His phone buzzes and everything swirling inside of him, all the anger and frustration and panic surge forward as he rips the damn thing out of his pocket and hurls it across the room with a sob. It hits the opposite wall next to the window and thuds to the ground, no longer vibrating. But then the floodgates are open and Hux can't stop the tears as everything that's been building all evening comes out at once. He presses a hand over his mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound as his body shakes with the force of his sobs.

Then a loud squeak draws his attention, startling him so much he stops crying and jerks his head up, gasping for air.

It takes a him a moment to process what he's seeing. There, standing in his window, which is open for some reason, is a tiny kitten. It's dusted with snow and sitting on the sill like it belongs there, staring at Hux calmly. 

Slowly, Hux stands and crosses the room, pausing occasionally so as not to frighten the kitten away. It doesn't seem remotely concerned, however, and actually stands to meet the hand Hux holds out to it, purring like a motor.

"Hello there, beautiful," Hux whispers, voice hoarse. "How did you get in my window?"

The kitten just blinks slowly. It's a very young orange tabby; Hux estimates it can't be more than a few weeks old. Hux carefully lifts it from the sill and looks it over for injury or tags but doesn't discover anything beyond the fact that the kitten is female and that she has a green silk ribbon tied around her neck in bow.

Hux gingerly sits on the bed, holding the kitten in his lap as she rubs and nuzzles him. "You clearly belong to someone," he says softly, fingering the ribbon. "Someone who will want you back." The movement causes the ribbon to slide slightly and something catches the light coming in through the window. Hux furrows his brows and looks closer, sliding the ribbon all the way around until the object is in plain view. "Oh," he breathes. "Someone who will _really_ want you back." Looped through the ribbon is a black metal band dotted with clear gemstones. A ring.

The kitten meows plaintively and nudges his hand with her head. "Bossy little thing, aren't you," he smiles, scratching gently behind one of her tiny ears. She purrs loudly in response, kneading his jeans with her claws.

Hux figures he should go ask around the neighborhood if anyone's lost a kitten. As young as she is, she couldn't have gotten very far from home. He sighs, looking down at her. "Were you supposed to be someone's special Christmas present?" She blinks slowly at him. "I bet someone is absolutely frantic to find you right now," he chuckles, stroking a hand down her back. "You've surely made someone very worried." The kitten squeaks.

Just then, a loud thump right outside the window makes Hux jump. He bundles the kitten close to his chest and stands, approaching the window hesitantly. It may just be a bird, or a raccoon, but Hux should probably close the window to be safe--

Another thump, followed by loud, distinctive cursing has him rushing to look outside. He pokes his head out and catches sight of--

"Kylo!" he gasps.

Kylo snaps his head up and meets Hux's eyes. "Hux!" he says. "This isn't...what it looks like."

Hux shakes his head, staring at Kylo balancing on the gabled roof outside their bedroom window, no coat, no gloves, no obvious reason for being there. "I don't even know what it looks like."

"Good, because it's not...that...." he trails off, eyes tracking to the kitten in Hux's hands. "Oh fuck."

Hux bristles, tightening his grip. "What?"

"Did you--where did you...uh...."

"She was on the windowsill. Do you know where she belongs?" Hux asks skeptically.

"Do I--oh my god, you--I--" Before Kylo can get a full sentence out, he dissolves into laughter. Like full-on bent-over, gasping-for-breath laughter.

Hux just watches in confusion and faint alarm. "Kylo?"

"Hang on, I just--" Kylo breaks off again, struggling to stay standing through the force of the laughing fit. "This is--this is-- oh my god, I can't believe this--"

"Why are you on the roof, Kylo?" Hux asks crossly.

"Because--because--" Kylo takes a huge gulp of air and points at the kitten in Hux's arms. "Because _she_ \--"

But before he can say another word, his foot slides on the snow lining the roof and his legs go out from under him.

"Kylo!" Hux can't do anything but watch in horror as Kylo topples over the edge of the roof with a shout.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck--" Hux curses loudly as he races to the door and wrenches the lock open before sprinting down the hall, still holding the kitten. He passes Phasma going the opposite way up the stairs and shouts "Call an ambulance!" over his shoulder at her without slowing down.

A million horrible images flash through his mind as he dashes through the crowd in the living room. What if Kylo broke his neck? What if he's paralyzed? What if he can't draw? What if he's d--

The cold night air is like a slap when he finally bursts outside but he barely notices it, stumbling through the gathered snow to the side of the house as fast as possible. As soon as he rounds the corner, he catches sight of the small group of people gathered around a figure in the snow. "Kylo!" he yells desperately, staggering toward them.

The group-- Finn, Rey, Jess, Poe, and Paige-- parts as he approaches. Kylo is lying on his back, sunk several inches into the snow, and his face is screwed up in pain. Hux falls to his knees beside him, panting from his mad dash through the house, his breath misting rapidly in front of him. "Kylo, you moron, please tell me you're alive," he gasps, placing a hand on Kylo's cheek.

Kylo groans. "I'm not sure." He opens his eyes and looks at Hux. "But I guess not, because I'm seeing angels."

Hux lets out a watery, half-hysterical laugh, pinching Kylo's cheek in retaliation.

"Ow!"

"You scared me, you asshole." Hux moves his hand down Kylo's neck and chest, feeling for abnormalities. "Can you feel everything?"

"I can feel your hand a bit north of where I want it."

"Can we push him off the roof again?" Rey grumbles.

"I'm considering it." Hux scowls.

Kylo smiles crookedly and takes Hux's hand in his. "I'm okay. Just a bit stunned."

"Dude, you fell off a _roof_ ," Finn exclaims, gesturing between the roof and Kylo's position on the ground. "Normal people wouldn't just be _stunned_."

"Well, Kylo's never been _normal_ ," Jess offers with a shrug.

"Ain't that the truth," Poe agrees.

"Why were you up there anyway?" Hux demands.

Kylo points their conjoined hands toward the kitten Hux suddenly realizes is still clutched to his chest. "She got away at the beginning of the party," he explains, still sounding winded. "I've been looking for her all night--"

"We've _all_ been looking for her all night," Finn corrects.

"Yeah, I asked the others for help, but we didn't get anywhere until Rey found footprints in the snow. We followed them and when they disappeared I thought maybe she'd found a way onto the roof. And I was right!" Kylo grins. "But you found her first because when it rains it pours, I guess. Do you like her?"

"Do...I...what?" Hux blinks at Kylo, struggling to fit his words into his own memories of the evening.

"Do you like her? She's yours," Kylo says, like it's the most logical thing in the world.

"She's...."

"And I'm sure you saw the...other thing." Now Kylo kind of looks embarrassed, cheeks already flushed from cold flushing even deeper. 

"The other thing...." Hux racks his floundering brain. "The ring."

"Yeah, I...I wanted this to be all romantic and shit, but--" Kylo struggles to sit up but only manages to prop himself up on his elbows. "I thought just putting it in a box would be boring, and since you're like the least boring person I know, I wanted to do something special. So--" Kylo clears his throat and takes a deep breath. "Armitage Hux, will you marry me?"

Hux's heart skips a beat, like a he just missed a step going downstairs, or he leaned too far back in a chair. Like every romance novel since the beginning of time has described. Once again, Kylo has made Hux's heart do something Hux didn't think was physically possible.

"I...I...." Words aren't happening; Hux can't get his thoughts together long enough to form a sentence. He brain is pure emotion right now, pure unadulterated relief and shock and fear--but overriding it all is joy.

"You don't have to answer now," Kylo says quickly. "Or ever. Actually, maybe we could just--"

Hux cuts him off with a kiss. 

Someone whistles in the background, but Hux ignores them as Kylo wraps his arms around him and they sink back into the snow together. Hux tries to put all of the things he doesn't know how to say into the kiss: his love for Kylo, his fears for their future, his relief that Kylo understands him, his willingness to follow Kylo anywhere, do anything to make him happy-- everything that transcends words.

When they part, the air between them is so warm, they can't see their breath. Kylo is staring at Hux in wonder and it makes him blush, like it always does.

"Of course I'll marry you," Hux whispers.

Kylo smiles like dawn breaking over the horizon.

Then the kitten, who has been surprisingly content until this moment, lets out an annoyed squeak and wiggles in Hux's grasp. Hux laughs and sits up to adjust his grip to something more comfortable. Kylo reaches out a hand to pet her.

"Hey!" A voice from above makes them all look up. Phasma is hanging out the bedroom window. "Still want me to call an ambulance?"

"No," Hux calls back. "He's fine. Just an idiot."

Phasma makes an exaggerated shrugging motion. "No surgery for that."

"This is so going on YouTube," Rey says, bumping Paige, who does indeed have her phone out and pointed at them.

Hux cringes as Poe and Finn erupt into laughter.

\---

They help Kylo back inside and onto the couch. Nothing seems to be broken, but he's going to be sore and bruised for a while.

Hux dismisses the party pretty soon after that, explaining that Kylo fell off the roof and could use some quiet. Everyone clears out quickly, leaving well-wishes and curious glances. Hux leaves the kitten with Kylo in front of the fire while he helps Paige load her sleeping sister into her car. She gives him a hug and a meaningful look before driving off.

Back inside, Finn and Rey are trying to tidy up but keep getting distracted by the kitten. Eventually, Phasma drags her wife away, making pointed comments about giving their hosts some _privacy_. They depart after giving Hux two equally bone-crushing hugs and making him promise to text tomorrow.

Jess and her daughter left with the rest of the guests, so that just leaves Poe and Finn. Hux tries to apologize to Poe for fussing at him, but he won't hear it, claiming they weren't handling the situation very maturely and Hux had every right to be upset. Hux still feels bad though, so Poe says he can make up for it by convincing Kylo to choose him as his best man. Hux knows Kylo would do that anyway, but agrees regardless. Before they leave, Finn hands Hux his phone.

"I found this upstairs," he says. "I think the screen is the only thing that's broken."

Hux thanks him and sends both Finn and Poe off with hugs.

With Poe and Finn packed off, Kylo and Hux are finally the only ones in the house, not counting their newest family member.

Hux approaches the couch slowly, feeling strangely shy, clutching his phone in one hand.

"Hey," Kylo says. "Why are you dawdling? Come here." He holds his arm out and looks at Hux expectantly.

Hux instantly feels silly for being apprehensive and sits on the couch, settling in beside Kylo.

"Whoa, what happened to your phone?" Kylo asks, pointing at the phone Hux is still holding, careful not to dislodge the dozing kitten in his lap.

Hux shifts uncomfortably. "I threw it against a wall."

"Hardcore, but why?"

Hux drums the phone against his thigh nervously but decides there's no reason to keep it from Kylo. "My...my father called earlier," he says haltingly.

Kylo stiffens. "I thought you changed your number."

"I did. He found it somehow."

"Hux, you gotta remember, whatever he said to you, he's a lying, evil son-of-a-bitch, and--"

"I know," Hux says quickly. "I know, and I didn't let him talk and I told him I would never speak to him again. I know he's a lying bastard, but...." Hux bites his lip. "He still...said some things...."

Kylo tightens his grip on Hux, pulling him even closer to his side. "You're so much smarter than him," he murmurs in Hux's ear, pressing his forehead to the side of Hux's head. "It's okay to still be conflicted, but remember that he can't hurt you anymore."

Hux nods, chest light with relief. After an entire evening spent in a state of near panic, it only takes a few words from Kylo to alleviate all his fears, as usual.

His phone buzzes.

Hux nearly jumps out of his skin, but it only vibrates twice and the screen glows with a text message.

"Is that him?" Kylo asks stonily, looking over his shoulder.

Hux lets out a shaky laugh, reading the text message. "No. I'd texted my mother earlier to see if he'd contacted her as well, but she says she hasn't heard from him. It's fine."

Kylo smoothes his thumb over Hux's shoulder. "Everything is fine."

Hux tucks himself further against Kylo's side. He leans his head against Kylo's chest and closes his eyes, taking a moment to just feel Kylo beside him, breathe him in, remind himself that he's not alone.

"I'm thinking Millicent," Kylo says, his voice rumbling through his chest so that Hux can feel it in his bones.

Hux opens his eyes. "What?"

"For her." Kylo nods at the kitten asleep in his lap. "Millicent."

Hux blinks up at him. "My grandmother's name."

Kylo frowns. "Is it too corny? We can go with something different if you want--"

"No, no." Hux reaches out a hand strokes down the kitten's back. She purrs in her sleep. "Millicent is perfect." 

"Oh, right, hang on." Kylo carefully unties the ribbon around Millicent's neck and slides the ring off of it. He holds out a hand and looks at Hux with his eyebrows raised. Trying to conceal his smile, Hux offers his left hand and Kylo takes it, wasting no time in sliding the ring onto his fourth finger. It's a perfect fit. "I thought black suited you better than regular gold or silver."

"You mean, you thought it looked cooler."

Kylo barks out a laugh. "That too."

Hux holds up his hand, observing how the dark metal and white stones catch the firelight at different angles. Never in a million years could he have predicted this, or even dared to hope for it. "How do you feel about a Christmas wedding?" he asks bemusedly, sliding an arch look up at Kylo.

Kylo beams.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought and also if you'd be interested in a companion fic from Kylo's point of view. I realize a lot of the "action" in this fic was hidden from the POV character so maybe it seemed kind of boring. Kylo had a wild night, I'll tell you that much. Hit me up on tumblr and tell me to get my ass in gear on First Order Investigations. Or just say hi :)


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